What is your Story? — the “Rashomon” effect
I got inspired, and it was a life-changing moment when I watched Akira Kurosawa’s Rashomon. It gave me a fresh perspective on life. It made me look at things in different ways.
When I was a kid, maybe around 7 years old, I started reading storybooks and even I tried to write books and used to send it to publishers with so much confidence that it might get published. Even used to track those magazines to check if my story got published.
Ok, stop thinking or judging me as I had become a brilliant writer now. No!, this story is not about me becoming a brilliant writer.
All the stories which I read during my young age used to be mostly fairy tales. Every story I read would have similar structures — chasing a treasure or finding a princess by conquering monsters and overcoming obstacles on the way. In the end, finding the life of the monster in the parrot's chest and killing the parrot triggers the death of the gigantic monster which ultimately helps the princess or hero of the story to find/save the treasure or the locked pretty princess. My stories used to follow a similar line, In my day-to-day life and even in my dreams I fight against those monsters and was chasing the treasure by crossing all those 7 seas and the 7 mountains.
Now, you may ask, what are the connections between Rashamon and my story?
Story 3 — Feeding the poor
When my second kid was born, my mother-in-law from Usilampatti came to our home in Bangalore. She is a pure non-vegetarian (meat-eater). in her daily lunch, there should be this meat else she won’t sound satisfied. Our apartment had a security guard named Naresh with his wife and a small kid from Gujarat. My mother-in-law felt they are living a poor life and not earning stable money to feed their family.
Every day she gave him lunch. Whatever she cooks as her favorite, she shares the same with him. He doesn’t know Tamil, and my mother-in-law knows nothing other than Tamil. Naresh tried to convey something in Hindi, and she couldn’t follow. She just left the food with Naresh and left with confusion. When she came back to the 3rd floor and looked down from the lobby, she noticed Naresh was giving the food to the stray dogs.
She got angry, reached the basement, yelled at him. He tried to explain, but she could not understand, but she just shouted at him and came back. My mother-in-law still could not accept it. She thought of something wrong with her cooking, and that’s the reason he threw the food. The next day she shared a new dish with him and again she noticed he is serving it to those stray dogs. She continued the same for another couple of days and every time he feeds the stray dog. One day she told the incident to me and she expressed her frustration and anger.
Story -1 — Stay away from Kallar
I was born and bought up in a small town named Madurai in south Tamilnadu. Famous for its culture and people. I grew up by informing that never speak about our caste and our native place to anyone. When my father was struggling to find a job and finding a home to stay in, no one gave us a place to stay because of the same reason. Our caste “Piramalai Kallar”, originated from a historic cultural land, Usilampatti (Madurai). When time flies, I found out that it was true. Whenever I speak about our caste and the place Usilampatti, people get scared or try to avoid me.
During the time many movies released and won awards, which portrayed our culture and lifestyle. Primary reasons were not on the positive side, Most of the movies had plots about fighting against each other, killing even their own people because of ego, killing the girl child. It becomes a trend later. One dialogue from the movie Vedham Puthithu, “thevarnna neenga padichu vaangina pattama?” (the surname which you are carrying in your name, is it any degree or certificate you got after any of your studies?)
Many movies released and won awards at that period, which portrayed the culture and lifestyle of the Kallar community. Major reasons were not on the positive side, Most of the movies had plots about fighting against each other, killing their own people because of ego, killing the girl child. It becomes a trend later.
During the summer holidays, we normally stay in our native with my uncle and aunt. There, I thought, the opposite. They were extremely proud of the society and culture. When I told my uncles and aunts about the problem I am facing, they laughed at me. They told others don’t know about the values of our culture and our people. You need to be proud of who you are. We have a unique story and lifestyle.
Story 2 — Madras, a hard place to live.
I fear moving out of my town as I always visualized Madras as a rude place, not comfortable with their accent, highly rush and mechanical life, Poverty, Struggle, Slums, etc. Most of the movies I watched, books I read in everything it was told: Madras is a place of cheaters, Madras mean’s poverty, Madras means suffering.
Madras — it is a hard place to live.
“People cheat, People don’t respect each other, People get killed on the roadside and no one cares. People are arrogant.”
I finished college and when all my friends moved out of town for a job. And I didn’t.
The time came, and it forced me to move to Chennai. Till then I passed through a terrible moment and worried about how I am going to survive in the tough city. How I am going to stay away from my parents? Will I survive? It is not about any inferiority complex; I am a confident person. Still, my stories about Madras were not happy ones.
the “Rashomon” effect, known as the effect of perception, truth, and reality.
Rashomon is a movie by Akira Kurosawa, deals with the survival and beliefs/opinion of different people in different situations. Someone's action might be good for that specific person but bad for another.
When I explored more and experiencing its practicality by looking at things wearing Rashomon’s lens, Things looked different. Could understand how biased I was.
A story which never told -2
My story of Kallar was always negative. But when I explored the history of Kallar, they worked as a guard for the cities and fought against enemies.
They continued their work even at British time. During the time they used to loot British’s wagons, and that’s how the name Kallar (கள்ளர்) got miss represented the entire community (thirudan — thief but actually it means Strong -Thevar, warriors). The lifestyle of them is completely different and till now they are following the customs followed by their ancestors. The temples hold their ancestors as their gods and not sophisticated gods. Kallar or Piramalai Kallar Temples don’t have any brahmins to do pooja since it allows everybody. Each god has its own story which carries how to live a life, what is relations are for and it means, what is friendship means, etc. (Karumathoor kaliyuga nathar, Paappaapatti Ochandamman, Nallathangaal)
Kallar — Bravery, one who carries the culture and literature since the 4th century BC, who never accepts or expects a Brahman to conduct rituals during any auspicious days. A modernized cultural society since the 4th century BC. A society that respects females, a very strict structured society to define the relationships.
A story which never told -1
After reaching Chennai and when lived there, it is a wonderful place. Looked at a different culture and different type of people. Always ready to help. Everybody working hard to live their life. Beautiful beaches. Even after facing different situations (cheated by auto fare etc), every person who came similar like me to pursue their carrier had their own stories, motivational stories, success stories, other-side stories… Later I found a lifetime treasure, a gift from Chennai, even after 20 years it still stays with me, my beautiful friends.
Madras (Chennai) — what a lovely place to live!
A story which never told -3
When my mother-in-law explained the story, I got agitated and scolded my in-law. Why are you serving if he is not eating? I forgot to appreciate her empathy. But when I reached and checked Naresh he told, “sir main vegetarian hoon main chicken Nahi Katha” (Sir, I don't have non-vegetarian food). We forget the other side of the story always. Later they become good friends with my mother-in-law.
We always hear the one-sided story. Every story has multiple angles, multiple perceptions, and multiple emotions.
Now requesting you to remember/check the banner picture once again if you missed it at first.
How many of you thought of a single-sided story? How many of you got angry after looking at the picture?
I shot the picture when I was on the streets of Old Delhi Chandni Chowk in the early morning. I saw this kid and clicked a photo of her. The reason for her crying is not just poverty, it’s her instinctive behavior. She woke up from her sleep and just searching for her mom, who moved to get water from a nearby tap. She got scared since her mom is not around and cried. When I reached close to her and shown the picture, she stopped crying and she played with me. We always see the one-sided story and forget or not tried to see the other side.
Sometimes we receive a lot of negativity around us. Don’t always look at the one-side of the story. Listen carefully. Be open and don’t be judgemental. Let’s hear the other-side of the story too. All the stories don’t need to be in an order.
